Saturday, January 26, 2013

FLASH FICTION: A Word From S.C.H.O.O.L.S.


What is Flash Fiction? It is a quick, short, piece of fiction meant to be written and read quickly. Sometimes, Flash Fiction is based upon a photo or image, other times, just a collection of words. Now, for your reading enjoyment, "Unforgettable Loan Sharks."
 


                We will return to Insomniacs’ Theatre after a few words from our sponsor…
                Do you want to make more money? Sure! We all do! But, unless you are a Mafioso or part of the Yakuza, you may find it difficult to make massive amounts of money with minimal effort while simultaneously preying on the fears and failures of others. Have you thought about being a loan shark, but your clients simply forget about their debts? Well, look no further! Here at SCHOOLS, the Stupendous Collegiate Home Of Outstanding Loan Sharks, we have boiled down the proven methods used by loan sharks throughout the ages and put them in our 42-DVD correspondence course to complete at your leisure.
                Once you complete the course, take an online exam, and print out your SCHOOLS diploma, none of your clients will be able to forget you. Follow all of our 15,080 easy steps and you, too, will be able to swim in a pool full of money like Scrooge McDuck.
                With our 42-DVD SCHOOLS program, you learn valuable lessons like:
·         Finding Clients and Gaining Their Trust
·         Bribery
·         Correct Brass Knuckles Procedure
·         Hiring the Right Lawyers
·         Proper Baseball Bat Techniques
·         Intimidation
·         Interest Rates: When Are They Too Low?
·         Networking With Local Bookies and J.P. Morgan Chase Loan Officers
·         Repossessing On Title Loans
·         Investing Your Earnings Back in the Community
·         Hiring Thugs vs. The Hands-On Approach
·         Paying off the Police
·         Payday Lending
·         Buying Juries
·         And Many More!
                Just listen to what our satisfied clients have to say!
                Having a judge in my back pocket was quick and easy, and I would not have been able to do it without the SCHOOLS program. Thank you, SCHOOLS, you have saved me years in prison.
                Before SCHOOLS, I only lent money out to friends and family, and at little or no interest. Now, I own a string of very profitable Pay Day Loan stores and am about to break ground on my Money Silo. Thank you, SCHOOLS!
                My city league softball team really seems to appreciate my new bat-swinging techniques. We ended the season undefeated! Thanks, SCHOOLS!
                Easy payment plans are available! No credit needed, just a very low 75% per month interest rate. Operators are standing by for your call.
                Be unforgettable. Be rich. Be a loan shark. And now, back to Insomniacs’ Theatre.

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